


Not Caring and Utterly Failing

by ERL33



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Bros who talk, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Support, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Just Friends, Maia and Jace are Bros, Maia helps, Past Child Abuse, Protective Maia, Until she does, and an even worse girlfriend, basically I like the idea of Maia and Jace being bros, but like, friends - Freeform, hurt!Jace, idek anymore, kaelie is not a nice person, maia doesn't care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 18:58:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12777402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERL33/pseuds/ERL33
Summary: Maia doesn't give a single damn about Jace Whatever-His-Name-Is. He is just another pretty boy Shadowhunters.She doesn't, absolutely does not, care about him or anything that may be happening to him.But the alarm bells in her head won't shut up and maybe... maybe she does care... just a little.





	Not Caring and Utterly Failing

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not great with summaries but this idea has been poking at me for a while now so I finally managed to get it written out.  
> I do not ship Maia and Jace. Like at all. I like them as bros.  
> I was kinda inspired by their make out scene but more because the wording struck me as kinda awful... and so I did some switcharoos and got this.  
> I'm pretty sure there are some timeline mixups but this is set before Kaelie woulda gone on her killing spree because she decided to channel her aggression differently.

Maia didn’t care about Jace. She didn’t. He was loud and obnoxious and entitled and cocky and an unrelenting pain in her ass. He had kidnapped Gretel and activated the Soul Sword. Jace whatever-his-name-was had been nothing but trouble since he had stumbled into the Hunter’s Moon.

And yet… even though she didn’t care… he was starting to worry her. Ever since the Soul Sword disaster, his behavior had changed. He wasn’t as loud. He didn’t carry himself the same. His shoulders seemed permanently slumped. But his eyes, those held the most noticeable change. Mostly because she couldn’t remember the last time she had seen them. Even though he had come into the Hunter’s Moon most nights since the attack, he hadn’t looked her in the eyes. Just ordered his drinks and went to sit by Kaelie.

That was another thing. Mr. Sleep Around had started going steady with the pretty Seelie almost immediately after the attack on the Institute. Maia knew they had been sleeping together before that but afterward Jace was rarely away from her. He bought her drinks and watched as she flirted with literally everyone. She’d drag him from the bar when he was coming back with new shots, making him give them away. Little things but Maia had been working behind this bar long enough to notice this behavior.

But this was Jace. He didn’t take shit from anyone. He was too arrogant to let anyone bully him… right?

Maia lost her conviction in her apathy one night a few weeks after the Soul Sword disappeared. Jace had walked into the Hunter’s Moon about an hour after Kaelie had sauntered in. He looked… exhausted. There were dark bags under his eyes and his skin was almost grey. Kaelie, in contrast, had looked fresh as a daisy when she had entered. Her tattoos practically glowed in the low light.

“Two whiskey sours,” Jace said as he stopped and leaned over the wood counter, eyes following the wood grain. Kaelie was glaring at him from her seat by the stage.

“Dude, you look awful,” Maia said before she could remind herself that she didn’t care. Jace flinched and pulled out his stele. He lit up one of his runes and a ripple of scales ran over his skin. When Maia looked back, her skin crawling from the sight, Jace looked normal. Warm skin, no bags under his eyes, his chapped lips smooth once again.

“Sorry,” he muttered. He handed over his card and took the drinks she handed before fleeing towards Kaelie. Maia walked into the back room so she can lean against the wall and focus on steadying her breathing.

Jace had just apologized for looking like death. Then glamoured himself so no one would be able to see it. Everything about his behavior was setting off major alarm bells in her head and she tried to shake them away.

This was Jace. He was just another pretty boy asshole. She knew better than anyone else just how fast nice pretty boys turned into assholes.

As she began to calm down, she concentrated on her hearing. She listened, hard, to what was going on beyond the bar,

“-believe how stupid you are. How could you fucking forget your glamour, you dumbass?” that was Kaelie, no doubt. But Maia had never heard her use that vicious tone before. “If you want to be seen with me in public then you have to do a little better than that. Just because you’re a good slut in the sack didn’t mean you automatically deserve to go out with me.”

“I’m sorry,” Jace said, sounding dejected. Maia couldn’t catch her breath. She knew what that kind of language meant. She knew how that could affect a person. But… Jace should defend himself. He’s not a helpless little mundane girl whose boyfriend turned out to be a damn psychopath. He’s a Shadowhunter. He’s a Herondale.

_It’s not your fault. This can happen to anyone._

Luke’s words rang in her ears. Anyone. Even someone like Jace.

Scraping together her composure, Maia walked back out to the bar. No one was even looking at the couple at the table by the stage. Jace’s back was to the crowd and the door. His shoulders were still slumped, making him look smaller than usual. Kaelie’s contrasting glow was all the more obvious even though physically, Jace should have look normal. It was as if she’d stolen his light. The spark of fire in his heart that made him passionate and heroic to the point of annoying. Maia tried to ignore them, not wanting to get caught up in relationship drama like that ever again. Jace would be fine. He could take care of himself. He’s a Shadowhunter after all.

Jace bought three more rounds for him and Kaelie, each time refusing to make eye contact in favor of staring at the wood grain of the bar. On his 4th trip, he stumbled and splashed a little of the drink on Kaelie’s lap. Maia watched, unable to tear her eyes away, as Kaelie stood. Her sweet Seelie façade had vanished. It made Maia rethink what she knew of the Seelie. She considered that maybe Kaelie was a member of the Queen’s court as one of her knights, not just a maidservant. Her movements were controlled and deliberate as she picked up her clutch and headed for the door. Jace put down the still mostly full shots without a word and followed her out of the bar. The tremble of his hand as he reached for the door to open it for the Seelie was what broke Maia’s resolve to stay out of whatever the hell was going on.

Calling to one of the other bartenders that she was taking her break, Maia hurried out the back and silently slipped into the alley behind the Hunter’s Moon.

“-fucking piece of shit! How fucking dare you ruin my dress?! Haven’t you ruined enough yet? Why do you have to be suck a fuckup?”

“I’m sorry.” That couldn’t be Jace’s voice. It couldn’t. There was no pride there. No arrogance. There was no way he could sound so… broken.

“’Sorry’ doesn't cut it anymore. After everything, you think ‘sorry’ is enough to forgive you?” Kaelie sounded vicious. Maia had to fight back the urge to shift, holding on to her humanity by a bare thread as she listened from behind the dumpster.

“No.” If she hadn't had werewolf hearing, there was no way Maia would have heard the soft, heartbreaking response that fell out of Jace’s mouth.

“That’s right. You’re lucky I love you. Because if I didn’t, there wouldn’t be a person in this world who gave even half a fuck about your screwed up ass,” she snapped.

“I know.”

“Good. Let’s go home. I need to change.”

Maia stayed there, frozen in place, even after the couple had gone.

***

“Maia? What are you doing here?” Luke asked when Maia stalked into the Jade Wolf twenty minutes later. Maia grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the back hallway without a word.

“How did you know when it was time to help me?” Maia asked, not looking up into Luke’s eyes, when they were finally alone. Luke flinched.

“What do you mean?”

“How did you know things were bad enough between me and Jordan to actually step in?” she clarified, finally looking up. Luke crossed his arms, his eyebrows furrowing in worry.

“When I heard him call you a ‘slut’. There had been a few instances that made me think maybe something wasn’t right. But when he started throwing slurs at you… that was the last straw. Why?” Maia didn’t answer for a moment before saying.

“Okay. That makes sense,” she nodded and started to leave. Luke grabbed her by the elbow and turned her to face him.

“Maia, what’s going on? Who’s in trouble?” he asked. She shook her head.

“I’m not sure if anyone is. I’m going to find out,” she told him. Luke shook his head.

“Just... don’t kill anyone,” he said at last as he let her go. The predatory smile on her face did not fill him with confidence.

“No promises.”

***

Finding Kaelie’s apartment wasn’t hard. Maia had been there for a few parties so she knew the way well enough. The fire escape was the perfect entry point and she scaled it easily. Carefully avoiding the Seelie traps to let Kaelie know if she had visitors, Maia listened just below the window to Kaelie’s living room as Kaelie screamed at Jace. She called him a murderer, a complete fuckup, and a hundred other terrible things. Maia’s heart broke as Jace said nothing to defend himself. Opening her Voice Memos app, Maia pressed record and placed her phone on the window sill where it would be undetected and still record the entire exchange.

Her decision to not get involved was immediately abandoned when she heard the unmistakable sound of flesh striking flesh. Peeking in the window, she saw Jace holding his face, a red handprint rising on his cheek.

“You fucking deserve every single thing you get,” Kaelie snapped, reversing her swing to backhand his other cheek. Maia tore open the window and was between them in an instant, grabbing the Seelie’s wrist before she could complete her swing. Kaelie gasped, eyes wide in surprise.

“Knock it off, Kaelie,” Maia growled. Kaelie wrenched her arm from Maia’s grip and stepped back.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” she screeched. Maia smiled.

“Making sure you don’t dishonor Sam’s name,” The look of horror spreading across Kaelie’s face was marred by fury.

“How dare you say his name?” she hissed and reached for the vase on the side table closest to her.

“I dare because I was there and he was my friend! I miss him too,” Maia shouted, trying not to think of all the friends she lost that night.

“He was my brother! You have no idea how it feels to lose him!”

“No, I don’t. When my brother died the only thing I felt was relief,” Maia’s words stopped Kaelie in her tracks. She lowered the vase slowly.

“You had a brother?”

“Yeah. And he used to beat the shit out of me. Kind of like what you’re doing to Jace,” Maia’s voice was cold and low. The vase fell from Kaelie’s fingers as she started to tremble.

“I didn’t-“

“He used to say he did it because he loved me. If only I would just learn, he wouldn’t have to hurt me anymore.” Maia turned her back on the stunned Seelie to look at Jace. He stood in the corner, looking at the ground. His arms wrapped around his shoulders defensively. Maia took a step towards him but he flinched. “Jace-“

Before Maia could say anything else, Jace fled down the fire escape. Maia sighed and spared one last glance for Kaelie as she started to climb out the window, scooping her phone up and putting it in her pocket as she did. Looking back, she was pleased to see that a look of stunned horror was settling onto Kaelie’s pretty seelie features.

“What have you done?” she asked before chasing after the Shadowhunter.

***

Maia didn’t catch up with Jace until they reached Union Square. The farmers market had closed up for the night but the park was far from deserted. Couples and groups of friends milled around, sitting on benches and wandering among the paths and trees. Jace looked like a shadow compared to them. His glamour was gone, once again revealing his exhaustion. He watched a couple and their golden retriever puppy play on the grass, arms still wrapped tight around his torso. Maia tried to find some of the apathy that had come so easily to her not 24 hours ago but it was gone. All she could find in its place was empathy.

“Hey,” Maia called softly. Jace jumped and turned to look at her. For the first time in weeks, his eyes met hers. They were so tired, so filled with pain, that Maia had to look away. She’d seen eyes just like that in the mirror before. When she looked up again, Jace had turned back around. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” his voice was rough and gravelly. Maia walked over to the low fence that separated the lawn from the walkway and leaned her calves against it. He looked like he wanted to turn around again but knew that it would be a childish move.

“You don’t look it.”

“What do you want?” he sighed, out of patience. “Do you want to punch me again? Would that make you feel better?”

“No.” It would have hurt more that he expected her to punch him if she hadn’t made a habit of doing just that when he pissed her off.

“Then what?”

“I want to make sure you’re okay. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Sure. Whatever.”

“I’m serious, Jace. She had no right to treat you like that.”

“What is it going to take to make you go away?” he snapped. Where before she would have reciprocated his aggression, now she just sighed.

“Come on,” she reached over and took his wrist to lead him out of the park. They silently boarded the subway, Maia standing protectively between him and the rest of the mundanes in the car. He didn't protest the whole way back, too tired or broken down to do anything other than what he was told.

When they finally arrived at her apartment, Maia couldn’t help exhaling the sigh of relief that had been bottled up in her chest. Jace seemed to attract trouble like a magnet and she had been waiting for something to jump out at them the entire walk from the station. Her apartment was small but it didn’t have any roommates so it was basically a palace to her. She pushed open the door, glad to finally be in her safe space. Though she wasn’t sure how she ended up bringing a Shadowhunter to the one place they were never supposed to show up.

“I’m going to make some hot chocolate. You want some?” she asked, stripping off her coat. Jace remained by the door.

“I’m just gonna-“

“Go? Where? Back to the Institute? To Magnus’?” she cut him off. His eyes dropped to the floor. “If you were going to go there, you would have done it ages ago. And you can’t be out on the streets in your condition.”

“I’m fine!” he protested, pleading bleeding into his aggressive tone.

“You are exhausted and you look like shit,” Maia argued as she pulled out a half gallon of milk from her fridge and poured it into a pot on the stove. She twisted the knob and turned back to him. “I’m not mad at you, Jace. I’m worried about you.”

“That’s a first,” his voice had lost most of its bite. Instead, he just sounded… Sad. Lost. Hurt.

“I know. It’s weird for me too,” Maia agreed. She had grabbed the cocoa mix from a cupboard and set out two mugs on the skinny breakfast bar that served as the separator between living room and kitchen. Jace hesitated for a moment before sitting down on one of the stools at the bar.

“How is it I always end up with you as my bartender?” he asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. Maia couldn’t help the laugh that popped out of her mouth but the tiny smile on Jace’s face as she did made it worth it. The smile brought a little flicker of life back into his eyes.

“I guess you’re just lucky is all,” she responded, offering him a small smile in return. Ha shrugged, his own smile fading.

“That would also be a first,” he muttered. Maia didn’t know what to say so she just concentrated on stirring the milk so it wouldn’t burn on the bottom of the pan. When it just started to foam she pulled it off the heat and poured it into the mugs, the cocoa mix already inside. She mixed in one more package each and handed one to Jace.

“Drink up. It’ll help,” she encouraged. She took a sip of her own drink, eyes falling shut in honest pleasure. It wasn’t the best hot chocolate in the world but it was what she could afford. When she opened her eyes, Jace was staring at her in consternation.

“Why are you doing this?” he whispered, his eyes dropping down to the mug between his hands. Maia shrugged.

“Because as someone who’s significant other and blood relative used to beat the shit out of them, I am required by moral imperative to help anyone I can out of similar situations,” she replied firmly. Jace didn’t move, didn’t say anything to that. He just continued to stare down at the hot chocolate as if the liquid contained the answers to all his questions. Maia floundered for words before she blurted, “And because you deserve to be helped.”

That got his attention.

“No,” he shook his head vigorously but Maia nodded, not letting him stop her.

“You deserve help, Jace. You deserve to be safe. You deserve someone who loves you without hurting you,” she pressed, not willing to let this go. Jace stood, intent on the door, but Maia was faster and blocked him before he could leave.

“Move!” he snarled but she shook her head.

“Jace, it’s too dangerous out there.”

“I can take care of myself!” he shouted.

“Then why haven’t you?” Maia shouted back, her control on her temper slipping. “Why did you let her talk to you like that? Why did you let her hit you?”

“I-,“ She watched as he crumbled right before her eyes. His whole body, from his brows to his knees, sank a little under the pressure of those words. Tears sprouted in the corners of his eyes and he viciously swiped them away. Maia took another step forward. She was right in his personal space. He looked up automatically, his eyes red and holding only a tiny flicker of his usual defiance.

“Jace, what has been going on in that head of yours? Why were you with Kaelie at all?” Maia asked, trying to tune out the words Kaelie had shouted in the alley as they echoed in her ears.

“Because she’s… she’s the only one left… everyone else hates me,” he whimpered, tears falling fast as he spoke the words like a deep dark secret. Maia felt tears running down her own face but she didn’t move any closer.

“No, she isn’t. There are so many people who love you beyond reason. Beyond doubt.” Maia protested, her throat tight as she forced out the words past the tears. Jace began to shake his head again, not willing to hear her out, so she reached out to touch him. To offer some comfort.

It was the wrong move.

“NO!” he shouted, flinching back and falling hard over the side table he didn’t realize was beside him. He began to shake as she picked up a broken vase, putting the pieces that had chipped off in the main piece and placing it on the floor by the door. He didn’t get up, didn’t even move as she sat down next to him.

“Jace, it’s okay. You- you aren’t in trouble. I’m not going to hurt you,” she said, as calmly as she could. She thought of Luke. The first time she had smashed a plate in the restaurant, she’d had a full blown panic attack. She’d ended up hiding in the pantry and sobbing. But when Luke came in after her, he just sat down next to her and talked soothingly to her until she came back to her senses.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, so soft and broken that she was pretty sure her heart shattered in her chest.

“It’s okay. It’s not a big deal. It’s just a vase. Are you hurt?” she asked. He shook his head and sat up a little straighter, trying to put his mask of cocky indifference back on but failing miserably.

“I’m fine,” he insisted, tiny hiccups making his words less firm and more childish.

“You aren’t but that’s okay. You can stay here as long as you need to. Rest. Heal. And we will deal with everything else as it comes,” Maia told him. After a few minutes of quiet, hoarse breathing, he started to calm down. “Better?”

“I’m fine,” he choked out, trying to suppress the little hiccups that she belatedly realized were sobs. She scooted closer across the rug but she didn’t touch him.

“What do you need?” she asks after a few more minutes. He kept swiping the tears off his cheeks with a viciousness even she couldn’t understand. She leaned back to grab the box of tissues she kept next to the couch. For runny noses, obviously. She definitely didn’t watch sappy rom coms on her nights off when there were no fugitives to hunt. Duh. “Here.”

“I don’t-,“ he tried to protest but she just glared at him.

“You’re going to make your skin even redder if you keep doing that. Just use a tissue,” she told him with that firm voice Luke used when some of the wolves were being ornery but not outright defiant. Jace sighed at took a tissue, using it to mop himself up.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

“You’re welcome,” She smiled. She started to panic as she wondered what the holy hell she should do next. Obviously, he shouldn’t be alone but she really wasn’t the best person for the job.

“I should probably-,” Jace abruptly stopped talking when she glared at him.

“My home not good enough for you?” she snapped. His chuckle was dark, sending chills down her spine.

“Your home is great. And I don’t want to intrude anymore,” he sighed as he rose to his feet. Maia followed, putting her hands on her hips.

“I brought you here so it’s kinda hard to call it an ‘intrusion’. More of an ‘invitation’.” She deadpanned. He shook his head.

“I’ll just-“

“What? Wander around the streets of New York, looking for a fight or a prostitute? Go back to Magnus’ and pretend this never happened? Go back to Kaelie?” Jace flinched at the last one and Maia sighed. “Jace, she hurt you. She screamed horrible things at you. She doesn’t love you.”

“To love means to destroy,” he whispered, the words rote and almost unconscious as they slipped out of his mouth like crude oil from a leaky pipe. Black and poisonous.

“Jace-“

“I have never known love that doesn’t hurt,” Jace bit out. Maia’s breath caught in her throat. “I thought maybe, with the Lightwoods, I’d found something good. But then… they denounced me as a traitor. And my father… well, he wasn’t exactly ‘Dad of the Year’. But they trained me. They made me strong. Kaelie, she makes me stronger.”

“Okay, so many things wrong here,” Maia muttered. A flash of hurt swept over Jace’s face but he covered it almost as quickly as it came. “Not you, the people around you. That… isn’t love, Jace. Duty, yes. Misguided attempts to do their best, yes. Love… not even close. Valentine is twisted. He’s evil. So anything he said, take with less than a grain of salt. Like, a quarter grain of salt.” That drew a small chuckle from the blonde and Maia couldn’t help but smile. “As for the Lightwoods, I’m not close obviously. But I know that the dark haired broody one dating Magnus, he went nuts when you were kidnapped. Like, he was snapping at everyone and shouting and just being a general nuisance because you were gone. And his sister was beside herself along with Clary. Even Luke had been stressed about the thought of you being in danger.”

“But the Soul Sword…” Jace couldn’t even look at her as he said the words. For a second, Maia couldn’t breathe. The loss of the Pack bonds that night still weighed like caskets on her heart, empty and yet still so full of pain. She swallowed and tried to see that night through his eyes.

“You tried to save us all. You thought you were one of us and you were willing to die so the rest of the Downworld would live,” She said after a minute of gathering her thoughts. “And we have already established that Valentine is a psychopath… there is no way you could have known.”

“But I still-“

“I blame Valentine, Jace. We all blame Valentine. If we blamed each of his pawns, we would tear ourselves apart. No one blames Dot for what she did when he was giving her those injections. No one blames the mundanes he took and transformed into his fighters.” Maia said, believing it for the first time since Luke laid it out for her. “Valentine leveraged his hold over you, at no fault of your own, and lied to you. Then, when the sword was activated, he was the one who wielded it. You didn’t pick that sword up and kill those people. You thought you were disassembling the gun and instead you armed it. So, it’s Valentine’s fault. Not yours.”

“You think?” the hope in his voice, so ragged and desperate, solidified her resolve.

“I think. I really really think,” she insisted. Tears dripped down his nose as a little smile appeared on his face.

“Okay.” Maia couldn’t help the sigh of relief.

“Good.” She climbed to her feet and fetched her own hot chocolate from the counter. “So, now that we have that taken care of, wanna watch a movie?”

“Um, sure,” Jace seemed taken aback by her offer but she chose to ignore it in favor of grabbing a bag of popcorn. By the time she turned back around after putting the popcorn in the microwave, Jace was sitting awkwardly on the couch, staring at her like a lost puppy with his wide eyes and small frown.

“I’m thinking not an action movie… I see people getting mauled too often for that to be something I’m interested in,” Maia mused.

“Clary has talked about Disney movies before…” Jace offered and jumped when Maia burst out laughing.

“Holy shit you have no idea what you just got yourself into!” The honest pleasure on her face calmed his fear that he had said something to upset her but he still watched her with confusion.

“I’m guessing I just requested something ridiculous?” he asked, relaxing in pieces as she picked up the remote.

“Not even close,” Maia grinned and started flipping through Netflix. “Oh my god, Hercules.”

“The Greek god? What about him?” Jace asked, relaxing back against the couch cushions as she pulled up the movie.

“Disney made a movie about Hercules that was so far off the original legend that I don’t think they ever actually read it!” Maia chuckled and hit play.

Before long, Jace was entirely enthralled. Between the music and historical inaccuracies, the heavy atmosphere lifted from the room. Maia had stuck her toes under his thigh, making him jump and glare at her. Her impish smile reminded him too much of Izzy to actually protest.

By the time the movie was over, however, anxiety had begun to creep onto his features. Maia picked up the bowl and used the chance to turn her back as she said,

“You know, the couch is empty if you wanna stay here tonight.”

“Oh I don’t want to-“

“Empty. No one will be using it. Totally free. Not an imposition at all.” Maia told him, earnest as she could be with her usual sarcasm slipping into her voice. Jace rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the smile creeping onto his face.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah yeah. Just don’t go telling everyone. I have been keeping where I live a secret for years.”

“Why?”

“How often do you barge in on Magnus for something ‘very important’?”

“Oh. Okay, yeah, I get it.”

“Exactly. He’s the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He signed up for late night house calls. I did not.”

“I won’t blab. As long as you don’t tell anyone about… any of this.”

“Jace, its nothing to be ashamed of. Kaelie is the only person who should be ashamed.” Maia can’t help but turn around, flinching at the look that had found its way onto his face once again.

Anxiety is a fickle mistress. She slips in and out of your consciousness as fluid as water. Just when you think she’s gone, the tide comes rushing back in and you feel like you’re drowning all over again.

“I know. In my head, I know that she was wrong. I just…” He shook his head, looking just as beaten down as he had in Kaelie’s apartment. An idea popped into Maia’s head and she grinned before schooling her face back to seriousness.

“I think I have something that can help.” She plopped on the couch next to him, cross legged. Jace turned slightly to face her, his eyes curious.

“How?”

“Close your eyes,” she instructed. He scrunched his nose in distaste but followed her instructions. “Now, I want you to picture what happened earlier in Kaelie’s apartment. Just set the scene. But picture it as if you were watching from the window. See yourself standing by the couch. See her standing across from you by the side table. Hear her words from that distance.”

“How is this supposed to help?” Jace sounded breathless, like he was about to have a panic attack. Pressing her palm on the couch cushion so he could tell she was coming closer, Maia wrapped her hand around his.

“You aren’t there anymore Jace. You’re here with me.”

“Okay. I see it. Now what?” he asked, gruff but his breathing had slowed a little.

“Now, change the picture. Put Alec in your place. And Magnus in Kaelie’s.” Maia told him. Jace’s eyes snapped open and he glared at her.

“What?! No!” he growled. Maia smiled softly at it.

“Why not?”

“Because Alec doesn’t deserve that!” The protective parabatai was coming out full strength, making Jace stand and start to pace.

“Alec has killed plenty of demons in his time. He helped draw Magnus out when the Warlocks were attacked.” Maia tells him slowly. Jace is quickly approaching furious.

“That wasn’t his fault! He never thought that would happen! He was just trying to help!” Jace yelled. Maia didn’t even flinch.

“Then why is the Soul Sword your fault?” she asked quietly. Jace thudded to the couch again, the wind knocked out of his anger.

“I… I never thought about it like that,” he admitted. Maia reached out and took his hand again. He didn’t fight her. Instead, he held on tight.

“Any time you start to think ‘I deserve this’, replace the word ‘I’ with ‘Alec’. And depending on how that feels, that’s how you can tell if it’s a true statement or not.” Maia explained. Jace looked as if he were about to cry all over again.

“But Alec… he’s not like me,” He protested weakly. Maia shook her head.

“He is literally the other half of your soul,” She chuckled. His laugh was watery but real.

“Okay. Okay, yeah, I’ll try that,” he agreed. Maia smiled so big it looked like it would break her face in half.

“Sounds good. Now, I’ll get you some pillows and a blanket. My apartment tends to get a little cold because I run hot,” she told him as she rose from the couch and went to dig around in the linen closet. When she returned with an armful of bedclothes, she was stunned to find Jace rinsing out their empty mugs in the sink.

“You have any dish soap?” he asked.

“Um yeah. Below the sink,” she blurted, too stunned to sound nonchalant. He didn’t notice as he ducked to pull out the bottle of knock off dawn and started to wash the dishes in the sink. “You don’t have to do that.”

“It’s the least I can do,” he shrugged. She decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. If it made him feel better, who was she to argue? By the time he finished the dishes, she had the couch all made up with sheets and pillows, covered by a thick blanket.

“Let me know if you need more blankets,” Maia told him as she yawned and headed for her bedroom.

“Maia,” Jace called behind her. She turned, glaring at him sleepily. He had a sheepish smile on his face as he said, “Thank you. For… everything.”

“Anytime. That’s what friends are for,” she couldn’t help but grin back at him. “Good night.”

“Night.”

As she slipped under her blanket, a light cotton sheet covered with flowers - hey, she was allowed to like flowers. Bitches love flowers – Maia rolled her eyes sleepily.

So much for not caring about Jace.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! Please leave comments/kudos if you loved or absolutely despised it (constructive criticism only please)! Thanks for reading!


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